"I know I'm going to have a hangover, just not today" Tom Hester

My life is all about avoidance of pain.  I want to feel good all the time or at the very least not hurt.   That is my main motivation, to not hurt and by "hurt" I mean feel ANYTHING bad.   Of course I know I'll have to stop eating crap eventually..... just not today.

I eat to feel better, I avoid exercise because it hurts and I don't want to hurt.  I zone out in front of the TV so I wont think about how fat and unhealthy I am.  I want to feel better NOW; and 4 warm, glazed donuts will make me feel better RIGHT NOW.  So what if I am borrowing against future health I may never have.  I want what I want when I want it.   I'll just push dealing with the actual problem down the road a bit. 

I know I'll have to pay the "bill" someday, but certainly not today.  Basically I borrow health on credit, promising to make payments in the future but I never do.  I'll eat pizza today and go to the gym tomorrow.  I borrow and borrow and I NEVER PAY ANY BACK.  I'm a health debtor.

Oh but it gets worse; At this point I do it on purpose, with malice of forethought.  Like back in the day getting all those CD's from Columbia House for a penny and never having any intention of paying for them.   I'm not gonna pay for the pizza by going to the gym.  I'll just keep borrowing and telling myself lies.  Really, I'm not just a health debtor, I'm a health deadbeat.

You might be a health deadbeat.  (With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

If you have subscriptions to high speed Internet, Netflix, Premium Cable, Hulu+ and no gym membership or exercise equipment; You might be a health deadbeat.

If you're 100+ pounds over weight and you see a Doctor regularly for back and knee pain; not to get better, but to maintain without suffering; You might be a health deadbeat.

If you're 100+ pounds over weight and your shopping list reads: 2 bags of chips, 4 tubs of onion dip, a gallon of ice cream, a case of Ramen noodles and Velveeta in the 5lb block; You might be a health deadbeat. (an actual list of mine, for real, I wrote it down so I wouldn't forget anything)

I've been borrowing against my health like a payday loan.   Give me a little now and I'll owe you triple later. The bill is coming due and I can't borrow any more because my health credit score is crap.  I am emotionally and physically bankrupt.  And to make matters worse I'm judgement proof.

I've been getting away with this for so long because I owe this health debt to myself.  I'm the Debtor AND the Creditor.   My health ponzi scheme has worked so far because I am good at treating the symptoms.   I avoid feeling bad in the moment and thereby also avoid facing the magnitude of the debt.  Oh and my creditor is lazy.  He never calls or sends letters or garnishes my pay.  He just sits there and lets me keep racking up debt.

I'm beating this analogy to death.... so I'll continue.   Dave Ramsey is a financial guru, advisor and radio personality. He preaches a get out of debt plan that is extreme.  His concepts apply to health, diet and fitness perfectly.

Cutting up the credit cards is just like refusing to eat processed food, getting on a strict budget is like setting a strict food plan, seeing your debt's paid off is like losing weight.  Exercising is like getting a second job and paying extra toward the principal.  Being debt free is like being fit and healthy.

If my new plan of total responsibility for my health seems extreme that's because it needs to be.  I am done being in health debt. 

I need to think about it like this.  Tony Soprano just bought up my debt and he wants to be paid.  If I don't, Furio Giunta will be collecting.   I'm paying off my debt and not borrowing any more.  Tony and Furio don't play.