It's just a stutter step, no biggie.

I skipped a workout; Yesterday morning.  I just wasn't up to it.  I hadn't slept, I convinced myself the gate would be locked again and I just couldn't break the inertia.  I vowed to work out when I got home from work at 7pm.

I felt guilty about it all day.  It really worried me that this would be the moment where I blew it.  Where I just fell off the wagon and couldn't get back on.  I had to keep this promise to myself.

Jack Lalanne had a rule; no matter when he got home at night, he got up at 6am and hit the gym.  Everyday for 70+ years.   Am I like Jack?  I bet Jarrod blew off a few strolls down to the Subway.   I wanna be like JACK!

Going back to my loan shark analogy (Link to previous post.)  I missed a payment.  So now I would owe even more.  This is a zero sum game.  You cant bank exercise and save it for later.  I need to keep up with every aspect of this new life plan if I am to succeed.   I can not miss a payment

I remembered a scene in the Sopranos.  Season 2 Episode 6 The Happy Wanderer.  It illustrates this concept.

Richie Aprille is collecting his weekly payment from Sporting Goods store owner David Scatino.  David is light on his scheduled payment...  oh well watch it here:

I owe this to myself and the penalty for missing a payment is too horrible to imagine.   This is real.  I have to force myself to see it this way not because the danger isn't real but because I'm an idiot.  If I allow myself to miss just one session it's a slippery slope back to the couch and right back to obesity, sickness and death.  Yes, missing just one session could lead to a heart attack or stroke.  This is real as it gets.

I made my payment last night.  I walked into the apt at 7pm, changed and was up at the work out room at 7:12pm. I did my 50 minutes and I got a bonus.  Those feel good endorphins I was whining about?  They flooded back in.  I felt fantastic as I left the gym.

Then this morning I got my fat ass up and made my payment for today.  And this morning I went further in my 50 minutes then I ever have before.  Another great day.

I'm all caught up.  

I have to keep things in perspective.  I have been on this road for less than a month.  I'm down 27 lbs, I have more energy and I feel much better.  I am on the way to health and real fitness. 

It's a simple equation, I can make the payments or let myself get hurt or even end up dead.  No middle ground. Pay what you owe....or else.