It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

It's not what it looks like. 

I did my morning exercise at the little workout center in my apartment complex.  It's about a 100 yards from my apartment.   This morning I drove my wife to work and then on the way back I stopped at the workout center.  As I left the little gym I was spotted by a few neighbors getting into my car and driving the 100 yards to my apartment.   It kills me.   I did not (as it would appear) DRIVE 100 yards from my apartment to WALK on a treadmill.    For some reason it really bothers me that someone thinks that....why do I care?

I've always cared too much about what people think.  My father has never cared.  He is the gold standard of "I could give a damn".  To illustrate I give you: A Tale of Two Take Outs:
No egg roll for you!

My father had a lady friend over to his condo.  They ordered Chinese food to be delivered.  My old man orders his food and 2 egg rolls, and he asks her, "Would you like an egg roll?, they're really good."  She says "No".  This sets off a red flag for the old man.  He further clarifies.  "Are you sure?  Because I want these two egg rolls, and I'm going to eat these two egg rolls.  If you want some, order some but these are mine."  She laughed and said "No, that's OK, no egg roll for me thank you"  "OK" says Dad.  Of course when the food gets there, the egg rolls look good, so she playfully asks for one.  My old man says "No, you had your chance these are mine, I warned you." and then he took a bite out of each. 

Extra take out for me!

In 2000 I was 300+ lbs and I was ordering so much food delivered and so often that I became self conscious about it.  It got so bad that I took to pretending I was ordering for multiple people.  I'd order extra drinks (one per entrée,  so sometimes 4 drinks).  I'd actually have the guy hold while I called out to my imaginary friends to verify "their" order,  "Spicy or mild"... "uh hold on.... hey Jim...you want spicy or mild?..... Yeah he wants mild".   I'd spend the most time ordering the salad because it was for "me".  Often I'd throw the salad away.

I'd keep up the act for the delivery guy.  Like the driver didn't already know... or like he even cared.... It was crazy.  I'd complain that my imaginary friends wouldn't even help carry the food in.  It was elaborate and unnecessary.  And so so sad.

Of course they knew.  I was a 300+lb guy in a one bedroom apt spending $200/week on food delivery.  But sure the salad was for me, not the double meat, double cheese Philly cheese steak with extra mayo.... and the jumbo fries....with more mayo. 

The really funny thing was later when I got a handle on it and dropped the weight and got into decent shape I met up with the owner of the pizza/sub franchise I used to order from. 

We were closing a deal, he was buying 6 new pizza locations and my company was the listing agency, We're at a big conference table and he blurts out...."Oh my GOD it's you!  Skip!  I just recognized your voice... DUDE what happened?  You used to make my boat payment and you just disappeared, I wondered if you died!"   Perfect, right? He then told stories about how much I ordered.  I was the record holder for a single address not a business, $127.50.  In my defense,  they were closed on Sunday...how was I gonna make it to Monday if I didn't stock up on Saturday?

Also, all true.

This is the only area where I want to be more like dad.   He was secure in the knowledge that his actions were correct, and that was all he needed.  It should be for me too.  I am doing right, most of the time at least.  And even if I weren't who cares what anyone but my wife thinks about what I do?

A good friend of mine used to say "What other people think about you is none of your business."

I need to live by that rule. 

But I think tomorrow I'll drive Kay to work and then drive home and walk back to the gym, just in case.