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| The surgery was a success! |
Weight loss surgery is the moral equivalent of putting a plastic cone around a dogs head to keep the dog from ripping out stitches. We can't "tell" the dog to leave the stitches alone because, well, it's a dog! So to keep the dumb animal from hurting himself we physically alter the dog. It's a sad and temporary fix for people who have the self control of a dog. I know because I am that dog. I had weight loss surgery 8 years ago, chewed thru the cone, and here I am again.
In 2005 I weighed 330lbs, I was pre-diabetic, had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, bad knees a bad back, no energy, and was so depressed I could barely get out of bed. I couldn't exercise and couldn't (wouldn't really) modify my intake of food. I was a mess.
I had just sold my company and scored a consulting gig with the buyer, so I had some money and some time. I decided to look into gastric bypass surgery as a solution. The more I read the more it seemed a perfect answer to my problems. By "perfect" I mean requiring the least effort from me.
In October 2005 I had a mini gastric bypass. My stomach was folded over and stapled to 1/3 it's size and 7 feet of my small intestine was "by-passed" and reattached to the new smaller stomach pouch. Laparoscopic, out patient and I was back at work in 3 days. $15,000, out the door.
It worked, and it was amazing. I lost 90lbs in 3 months. All my health problems disappeared. But then at 3 months I plateaued. I was stuck at 240.
So I started to work out. I hit the gym, rode a bike, swam and over 2 years dropped about 20 more pounds.
Then I had a training injury in 2008, a bad divorce, I stopped the exercise, started a new career as a stand up comic. I now "worked" at night in bars and clubs. I basically set to work defeating the surgery.
It was a challenge. I had to eat smaller portions and do so constantly. Drink lots of cream soups and add sour cream to everything. But I was determined (or so it seems now in hindsight) to get past the plastic collar and get at those stitches. I was successful, over the next 4 years I gained back 70lbs.
That brings us to the present. I have defeated the surgery. My plastic collar is torn to shreds. I can eat what ever I want as much as I want. It's all up to me.
My scale has a body fat function. I have lost 20lbs of fat in 3 weeks. Who knows, I may be able to recreate the extreme weight lose of the surgery by modifying my behaviour. One thing I do know for sure, I will never go back to where I was.
The lesson here is there are no short cuts; no magic pills or surgery or diet. It was 10 miles into the woods and it will be 10 miles out. The only way out is thru.
The good news is, unlike a dog, I do my own shopping. I can choose not to rip out my own stitches. Choose to eat for health, choose to exercise, choose to be an adult. And today, I do. I can choose to not be pathetic and weak and self destructive.
I choose to live like a man not a dog. I am the master of my fate, the captain of my soul.
Remember how you told me that I should get the surgery?
ReplyDeleteOf course I did. I thought it was the only way. I could not even form the "idea" of self control in my mind much less act on it.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I don't know what has flipped this switch for me. But finally I get it. I'm responsible for EVERYTHING in my life. Feels good too.
I seem to remember that I also suggested you get a cook, a trainer and become a gym rat as you had the time and the money, but hey, I tell people what to do all the time.